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On rereading we actually had been talking about two different things from the start and the first error was mine. I am more embarrassed by this fact than most people might be, since it goes against who I try to be.
The fact that a second transition from friendship to romance isn’t the issue that causes me annoyance, it is that a transition away from romance does not return to friendship says bad things to me about how people approach romance.
@Draco Dei
It’s not a social fact, though; it’s biological. Women always want to date up. Friendship means equality. For a woman to be romantically interested, a man has to have some mystery and power to him. Friends don’t have that. And once you lose that intrigue, you can never get it back. Friendship isn’t an entry to romance, it’s the death of it.
@Bad Dragon
Which is very unfortunate. Many (most?) people these days seem to treat romantic love and friendship as separate things, rather than love being the highest form of friendship, such that it turning out that a relationship doesn’t make the grade to reach the Oath-Sworn “This WILL fade ‘seven’, bit we WILL rebuild it ‘eight’.” level of marriage should still leave a $&¥π¢£ good friendship! Yet “friendzoned” often (usually?) doesn’t mean a return to a very real level of high friendship.
Item number 73 showing how current society has got a LOT of things wrong.
Never mind.
Edited because: Added minor shame on myself.
It’s not a social fact, though; it’s biological. Women always want to date up. Friendship means equality. For a woman to be romantically interested, a man has to have some mystery and power to him. Friends don’t have that. And once you lose that intrigue, you can never get it back. Friendship isn’t an entry to romance, it’s the death of it.
Yeah, I basically knew that. I was saying that I think it would be an improvement if that social fact changed.
Which is very unfortunate. Many (most?) people these days seem to treat romantic love and friendship as separate things, rather than love being the highest form of friendship, such that it turning out that a relationship doesn’t make the grade to reach the Oath-Sworn “This WILL fade ‘seven’, bit we WILL rebuild it ‘eight’.” level of marriage should still leave a $&¥π¢£ good friendship! Yet “friendzoned” often (usually?) doesn’t mean a return to a very real level of high friendship.